Vacation is wearing me out! We have two healthy boys who are reluctant to slow down. They want to do everything there is to do, and they want to do it now!! On top of their adventurousness, I have my own agenda. This week I’ve brought a stack of books to read, a pile of unfinished writing projects to work on, my running shoes and yoga paraphernalia, and a strong desire for some intimate time with the Lord. Is it possible to cram all of this into one tiny little week? The only way to accomplish even half of this stuff is to forego sleep altogether and ignore my husband completely. And, he has his own agenda for this vacation…which appears to involve seeing a whole lot of me. Thank the Lord, for that.
Once again, I woke up feeling stressed, not blessed! I knew that this was not the Lord’s plan for me this week, and I felt Him pulling me to Him through it all. The boys slept in yesterday, but so did I! So this morning was my first opportunity to watch the sunrise in solitude. No matter how many times I watch this miracle, I am always amazed. The colors are never the same, but always have that beautiful muted vibrancy that gets richer with each passing second. The soft play of light on the water soothed my restless mind, and I felt the peace of my Father’s presence with me. As the morning star rose slowly into the sky, my heart lifted with her and my spirit rejoiced. I always feel like God is sharing one of His greatest treasures with me during those early morning hours.
I find that pausing to listen in the middle of the noise of stress is a balm for my soul. Yet, it is always so difficult to do this. The Bible tells me that I might make plans, but it is God’s plans that will prevail in my life. I had to choose to die to myself this morning. I had to consciously put my desires aside and take on the heart of a servant. Sometimes I feel like my life is like the surf, ebbing and flowing, seemingly going nowhere. But every drop in the ocean has traveled the world over. When I am tempted to despair of ever making a difference, I remember the story of Ruth, and how her devotion beget kings and the line of our savior. I remember Rahab and how her bravery preserved that precious line. I think of all the characters in the Bible who played minor roles, and I meditate on how God used these small bits of faithfulness to produce great fruit.
Yesterday, as I hung up the boys swim trunks to dry, I was amazed at the amount of sand that filled up their pockets. When I thought I had gotten rid of the last grain, from some neglected fold would trickle a host more. I smiled as I remembered the promise God made to Abraham about his descendants being as numerous as the sand on the seashores. There is no getting rid of that stuff! Such are the Lord’s blessings for us. If we bow to His will, and leave our own behind, He will bless us tremendously. Oh, Lord, thank you for that assurance! I know that no act of obedience is too small. He sees my heart, and He knows my struggles. I’m going to carry my blessings with me like a pocket full of sand this week. Lord knows there’s plenty to go around.