Sabbath Lessons

Saturday is our Sabbath. It’s a day for sleeping in and having the Big Breakfast. My boys stay in their PJs an abnormally long time (so do I), Jeff plays his guitar, and I write. Come late morning, I go for a long run and take Lucy Mae for a walk. The day is completely unscheduled (usually) and stress free. It’s the closest thing to heaven I know.
It pleases me that I can give a day like today to my children. Just as it nourishes me, I can see how their spirits are refreshed by a day with no demands. Most days were like this when I was young, but not so today. I must admit, there was a time when I worried about my boys because they were not interested in playing soccer, or baseball, or any other number of things that most of the kids around here do. I fretted that they would never learn the value of team work, or develop physical skills that might help build their self-image. I also worried that their lack of involvement in organized activities would limit their social lives in some way.
Over the years, God has taught me many things as I watch my boys mature. The primary one, of course, being to trust in Him. It has been difficult, at times, to listen to the other moms discuss the various sports interests of their children. I used to worry that I made the wrong choice in not forcing my children to participate in these activities. My nature is to always believe that I am lacking something; it’s easy for me to believe that I am not doing the right things, the important things, that I am not good enough. I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove that I am good enough. My history has led to a huge inferiority complex, I suppose. I am almost always surprised when a friend expresses admiration for any of my accomplishments. To me, I’m simply trying to be good enough, not better. The other day, my co-worker called me an overachiever and it gave me pause. I’d never considered myself that way. But it is true, I have always tried to make myself better, to study, to learn new things…all with the hope, I suppose, that I would feel adequate at some point. It amazes me that God has dealt with me in this issue through the lives of my children.
Love is an amazing thing. Not only is it not blind, its eyes see beauty that normal vision is not capable of seeing. By accepting Teddy and Jeffy for the unique individuals they are, I have come to accept myself. It was a slow process, and it surely wasn’t easy. But God has allowed me to see how beautiful each of my boys is, to recognize their strengths, and weaknesses, and to love all of them. In some ways, through their lives,the Lord has held up a mirror in front of me and allowed me to see beauty reflected there. Now when I “overachieve” it is for His glory.
I am watching my boys develop into exceptional young men. Because we have few organized commitments, we spend a lot of time connecting with each other. My primary goal is to foster their faith and provide opportunities for them to live out their faith. I’m still learning. But I do know one thing. There is an incredible sense of peace that comes with unbusyness. I see that peace reflected in the eyes of my children every Saturday. This must be one of the wonderful reasons that God commanded us to keep the Sabbath. I pray that my children will never feel like their worth depends on the things they do. I pray they will never feel like they are not good enough. Not if I can help it. I want them to understand what their value lays in who they are in Christ, not in how many goals they score. I’ve got a long way to go before I find out how it all works out. But as for me and my house, we shall serve the Lord.


  1. says

    Hi Laura! I love to sit down late in the evening after my little one is asleep and read your “stories”. This one in particular hit right at the heart. I so want to know God’s unconditional love and He is teaching me through my little girl and find that it would be so much easier if I first knew how to love myself. Why does that seem to be so hard? Unfortunately I think it is going to be a long, hard lesson, but I so want His love in the end! Thanks again for all of your open and honest thoughts!

  2. says

    you are so sweet to visit me! I think of you and the other gals so often. i hope we get to see each other again next year. yes, it’s true, loving our children will be the closest we will ever come to understanding His love for us, I think. It’s been an amazing journey for me, and it’s only beginning! You’re little one will be a great teacher! Love, Laura

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