Hello, my Dears!
I just returned from a very wet, soggy run! When I walked out this morning, the hills surrounding our ancient river valley were cloaked in a gauzy fog, and rain was misting down. The thermometer read just under 50 degrees, so I made the mistake of going out in a pair of shorts and a thin sweatshirt. After about a mile, I was soaked to my skin. The rain had picked up from a drizzle to a gentle shower, and the wind! It began gusting around me, turning my gentle shower into a cold driving rain! At my three mile marker I seriously considered turning around. My legs were pink and feeling a bit stiff. But then the wind died down and I was able to enjoy the remainder of my prayer run.
My running time has always been one of my times to meet with God. It seems I hear His voice so clearly when all the blood is running away from my brain! It is one of the few times of my day that I am forced to leave the world behind. The Lord never fails to join me. He always brings me a special delight during these times. Today, as I loped along, I found that I wanted to stray from my usual course. I turned into a neighborhood that I rarely frequent, and was rewarded with such lovely Christmas decorations! As I weaved in and out of the streets, each turn was greeted with beautiful signs of the season. The Lord and I were enjoying the sights, when He brought a twinkle to my attention. I looked closer. Every tree had tiny rain droplets clinging to the end of its branches. The trees and bushes glittered with millions of diamonds twinkling in reflected light. It was by far the loveliest vision I had seen all morning. God was showing off again. I just love it when He does that. Suddenly, all of the lovely wreaths and greenery on the surrounding houses seemed a pale imitation.
Our life is like that, isn’t it? Sometimes we get caught up in the things of this world. I frequently need God to remind me that there is more than this life.
1 Cor. 13:12 tells us, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
Sometimes He gives me a glimpse of what is in store. But I can never seem to hold onto it. Like the water diamonds at the ends of the tree branches, it just drops away, leaving my life in the here and now.
This morning, little Jeffrey woke up angry at me. He was mad because I didn’t get to go to his school Thanksgiving luncheon. Yes, I said Thanksgiving. You see, his school divides the holidays up by grade as to which parents are invited to join their children for the holiday lunch. Today is the Christmas lunch. This served to remind him that when I was invited to attend, on Thanksgiving, I was unable to do so. He’s still holding the grudge.
So I felt like a bad mommy this morning. We mommies have to have big shoulders, don’t we? His father has never attended one holiday luncheon in his entire eight years…but somehow, mom is always the bad guy! I considered breaking the school rules and heading over to the school luncheon anyway. But what kind of role model would that make me? Then I fell asleep on the couch and had a nightmare about being sent to the principal’s office.
So here I am, trying to shake the chill of a damp day from my soul, considering the Big Picture. Instead of beating myself up, I’m using this disappointment as a learning experience. For Jeffrey, and for me. I know that I need to learn to let go a little. And Jeffrey needs to learn that disappointments are a part of life. Sometimes, there is a trade off in life. When I went back to work, it meant that I would spend less time at the boys’ school. I have less time for myself as well. I have to make some difficult choices in the way that I spend my time. It has cause a shift in our family structure. But that is not entirely a bad thing. I appreciate my time with them a bit more, I think.
The Lord is carrying me through this. He whispers to me, “What matters the most to your little boy, Laura?” And I know the answer. I know the answer, just as I know that when he gets off the bus this afternoon he will have forgotten his grumpiness this morning.
Thank you for listening, Dear One. Remember that this life is a poor reflection. Don’t let that keep you from doing your best, rather, let it give you the freedom to love with abandon. Try to see every moment as a step closer to perfection.
One day we shall see face to face.