The feet of Thomas

“Mom!”

The panic in his voice sent my heart a-pounding and my feet a-running.

I found him on my bed, examining his feet. He looked up at me as I entered the room, face scrunched up in fear.

“My feet! I can see my veins!”

I looked down at his lilly-white ankle and, indeed, saw a blue line distinctly tracing a path from heel to toe.

“It’s okay, honey, it’s supposed to look like that.”

My words did not comfort.

“It feels funny. There’s something wrong!”

My little hypochondriac sat stiffly on the pillow at the head of the bed; perhaps afraid any wrong move might make the blue line explode.

I gently sat down beside him and lifted my foot up beside his.

“See,” I said. “Mommy’s foot has them too.”

Silently, he studied my veiny foot. Under his gaze, I could almost feel the blood pumping through them, conscious of the purpose of these thin blue lines for the first time.

“They’re supposed to look like that?”

The relief in his voice was tangible.

“Why do they look like that?”

“Oh, your veins are how the blood gets throughout your body. Sometimes you can see them through your skin.”

“There’s blood in there? Where does the blood go?”

A quick anatomy lesson ensued, my young son studying his foot the entire time.

As he skipped off to play, the strangeness of the interaction lingered in my mind.

I mean, how many nine-year-olds are driven to panic because they can see their veins through their skin? Granted, my boys have some of the milkiest skin this side of the Mississippi, but come on, the boy was absolutely stricken. And he wouldn’t believe me without seeing my own spidery vehicle.

“Then he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’” (John 20:27)

I smiled.

How many times has our Lord had to show me before I have believed? Too many to usher forth the memories.

“…see my hands…”

So many times I have refused to heed His voice until He shows me His intentions.

“…see…”

My words to my son echo back to me today as I walk a journey of faith guided steps.

“Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29)

Yes, that is what I am today. Blessed.

Comments

  1. says

    Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing! I hope I didn’t overstep myself on the last post. I just wrote what was on my heart, yet was thinking of my email about SheSpeaks.

    I am glad you are resting. I know the assignments can feel like a weighty task sometimes. Sometimes I feel that way as the deadlines of my devos approach.

    I hope you have a beautiful weekend away. I can’t wait to hear what happens with your novel. What’s it about?

    Hugs!
    Julie

  2. says

    How exciting that you are taking the ministry track. I will pray for you as you prepare for your meetings. I’m so excited for your opportunities I can hardly stand it. Funny, huh? I really have no idea what you are going through and yet I’m anxious for you!

    My prayer for the conference is for the Lord to speak through me like last year. I don’t want it to be about me. I have a hard time writing my speeches and thanks to Julie I’m pretty sure it is because the Lord is preparing me the same way He did last year. HE wants to give me the words and now I wait patiently… okay I’m not great at it but I’m doing my best. Waiting is hard!

  3. says

    Great post, my friend!

    Praying for you as She Speaks approaches! Looking forward to hearing how it all goes and what the Lord does!!

  4. says

    Hey Laura,
    I’m back! Yeah!
    I missed all my blogging friends this past week. It’s been tough not having the internet for a week!
    I wouldn’t have had time anyway.
    Camp went well and I survived.
    I’ll be posting when I get a chance.
    My house is a total pit. Between all the kitchen mess everywhere and all the stuff I brought back from camp….it really is a pit.
    We had plans last night and plans today so I’m not sure when I’ll ever get caught up, but I will.
    Thanks for your prayers for our group while we were gone. We had a great time. The kids were really sweet to compliment us on our meals and the last night we were there they had us come to the front of the group and the youth leader had a card for us signed by the kids. Then they all stood and clapped. It was very sweet. We were blessed to be able to go.
    I’ll write more in the days to come, but wanted to stop by and say hello to my friends.
    Love ya,
    Valerie

  5. says

    So many times myself (even as I speak) I find myself NEEDING God to SHOW me what my heart has a hard time believing. Your son is 9; I’m 38. I still panic and scream sometimes at the things and situations in life that are just too difficult for me to see the “good of God” in.
    This Doubting Thomas post has hit me hard….and encouraged me.
    Thank you for that!
    God Bless,
    Amy:)

  6. says

    That is a great post! I loved how you tied in Doubting Thomas!
    Thanks for sharing this!
    Can’t wait to meet you this weekend. Have you read Lisa Whittles blog today? If not…it’s a must read!
    Blessings,
    Lelia

  7. says

    Hi Laura!
    Friend, I am so excited to meet you in a few short days! I feel like I already know you by the words you write from your heart. Loved this post.

    I’m SO fond of you, sister. 🙂

    Lots of love and safe travels to you!
    Lisa 🙂

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