We still wait.

In this season of joy when life as we know it pauses to partake…

Dread sets in and we wonder—

Why can’t it be Christmas all year?

Last night Little Jeffrey said that very thing.

“I wish we could have Christmas every day!”

And I said the grown-up thing:

“We always have Christmas in our hearts.”

Do we?

Do I?

I sit here today, and wonder—

Why this melancholy?

I do not lose His presence when I flip the page of the calendar.

He is always here.

But I do not always have a national holiday to declare it so.

This calendar gives permission to leave everything behind…to indulge in Him these few days.

Why do I need this calendar’s permission?

My household is still recovering from the excitement of Christmas day.

Boys sleep in; even dog loathes leaving the warm covers.

I rise to a quiet house…

Sit in bay window and watch the dark become light.

It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, this creeping illumination.

Hasn’t His light covered my darkness too many times to count?

This morning I go back to the beginning.

I do not need this calendar’s permission to celebrate the Light of my world.

But there will be times I need reminded.

I get distracted by the worries of this world.

And so, I am considering how I can mark this celebration…

I suspect each day will hold its own holiday.

Do you have any ideas? What do you do to carry Him with you all year long?

I’m still waiting.

“In the beginning God create the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.” (Gen. 1:1-4)


  1. says

    Friend, I loved your post.

    I don’t know how to explain it, but Christmas has somehow become different for me. There seems to be little time for reflecting on it all. I felt the normal guilt until I sat with Jesus.

    I felt His presence as I realized, somehow in the midst of living life and allowing His love to penetrate my heart I have celebrated Him all year long. Not just His birth, but Him in ME.

    So, for me, as His love penetrates every sinew in my being the celebration of His life grows in ME.

    I think it is important to set aside times to remember. But I am thankful to know that even when life around me swallows me up, there is still a celebration going on inside me.

    I was thinking this morning. The more I see His relentless love, the more I am consumed by it, longing to know even more….

    Hugs, dear friend….

  2. says

    What a great picture of your boys!
    They are so cute.

    I have begun each morning as I awake to recite the verse “This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:25

    Each day is a gift from God and I want to enjoy everything He has for me in that day.

    It’s amazing when I set my heart on saying this verse to myself every morning….it’s the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up.

  3. says

    So many thoughts on this one. I think I’ll save it for a post. I’ll say this…

    I rather enjoy getting past December 25th. I find the preparations very distracting to the point of keeping me from my (as Brother Lawrence would say…) practicing of the presence of God.

    I long for the quiet to return. It’s always a difficult balance for me.

    Enjoy your weekend, friend. Get a plan for your spiritual journey post Christmas. A good Bible study is a way to keep at it; if not, a good read from a good author. I’m reading L.L. Barkat’s “Stone Crossings” and working through Beth Moore’s “Esther” study. And then there’s that book I need to get back to…


  4. says

    Hi Beautiful Lady!

    Thanks for commenting at my blog. I loved your thoughts on Christmas and the sweetness of your boys around the tree…such warmth!

    I used to have the same feeling you have now – when my children were young also. I found myself identifying with them in the love of expectation of any holiday and the melacholy when it was over.
    Nothing seemed as sad as twinkling lights taken down in the cold dark winter.

    Of course you are light years away from where I was in your walk with HIM! I am happy to see the chaos go with the passing of the holiday.

    I find more sadness in the pilgrimage of those that fill the churches around me on Christmas Eve and never think of HIM again until the next year.

    I love your heart for HIM, Laura. Deep and longing for more of HIM…HE will not disappoint you. You know that we find HIM when we seek HIM with all our heart…

    This will be a year of closeness because that is what you long for – intimacy with the one that never betrays you…

    Blessings and love,

  5. says

    Laura, I’m so glad you came over to say ‘hi’ because I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this post. The longing in your heart for more of Him invites me to desire Him more.

    One year we actually kept our Christmas tree up ALL YEAR – what a visual of Christmas every day of the year. I find getting up early every morning and starting my day in God’s Word keeps me aware of His presence; then living big reminds me of His power; trusting Him reminds me of His promises and obedience keeps me mindful of His purposes for me.

    Carrying Him moment by moment in my heart,

  6. says

    In truth we do not “lose his presence with the flipping of a calendar page”, yet sadly, we don’t often live that way. I am the first to acknowledge painfully that is true in my life.

    Christmas this year was different for me on many levels. Different that I didn’t lose myself in the must have’s, must do’s and have to be there’s. I was hungry. I am still hungry. Hungry for more of God. It is a deep, deep hunger that I know only He can fill.

    Looking forward to the year ahead.


  7. says

    I wish that I had an answer right now to that question myself.
    It has been such an incredibly wonderful and painful year for me all at the same time, and I realize more than ever that God is the only constant through it all…..That being said, I often wonder, “Why do I have such a hard time finding Him in the midst of it all?”
    I’m a work in progress……
    I pray that you have an abundantly blessed 2009, Laura!
    Much love,

  8. says

    Awesome post, Laura!

    There are so many things I love about the Christmas season. One of my favorites is to get up early in the morning while it is still dark and plug up the Christmas tree and other things to “light” up my morning before I sit down for my quiet time. I hate to see the day come that the tree comes down and all the decorations go back up in the attic for another year.

    I loved your statement about indulging in Him for those days… my thought is how can I continue to “indulge” in Him everyday. I will have to do some thinking about this. Thanks for giving me something to ponder.


  9. says

    hug for the journey—-at this stage of my life I recognize the build up of “life” and how to wait to find my center with Him again.

    The older I get the more bizarre I find our drive to spiritualize “those” special days (Christmas and Easter), let alone how caught up in man’s way of celebrating the holidays we can get. Finding my rhythm with Him each day, finding my joy in Him no matter the circumstances of life–that is my goal. The balance of enjoying the “things” of this world and putting Him first is often a struggle. Not getting caught up in man’s ways-hmmmm. Wow my mind is wandering this morning. Now I need to go back and read your post.

    What I love is that even when we may only think we see darkness He is with us, He is Light that we sometimes have to look for with a different heart attitude.

    Be still, and know that I am God.

  10. says

    Thanks for the comment…the cocoon was warm, but not without sickness also. We had two go down with virus, you were not alone. But your waiting, pausing, and even this continued journey in His sweet presence is so clear in your posts.
    When my children were younger, I had the same feelings that you write of, and still do a little. I found that I could savor every day with the same joy when I slowed down (might be the tummy bug) and simply lived Christmas like all days. I enjoy keeping the nativity out – sometimes into February! I have a small one that stays out year round, always a reminder of the beauty of the time we set aside every year. Don’t put away the Christmas CD’s. Play with the boys. Dance with your husband.
    Immanuel! Every day He is with us!
    Indulge in Him, yes. You do not need the calendar to tell you to do so…you have His Spirit!
    Love and hugs!

  11. says

    To Ms. Laura

    You write that : In the beginning God create the heavens and the earth….

    In scriptures it is also said that ” God is not only within the living being, like animals and vegetation; the God is in the stones and water, too. He/She is everywhere, in every atom. [I have no idea about whether the God is He or She.]

    Naval Langa

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