I wrote this late last night, dear ones, and wanted to share…
I can hear the children playing upstairs, remnants of our party. Most have gone home, returned to their own nests.
This afternoon we celebrated Jeffrey’s birthday with a handful of ten year-olds and close friends. We spent the morning watching home movies of his birth and earliest days–as is our tradition this time of year.
I sit here tonight amazed that we’ve made it this far…that so much has passed through the portal of time.
I am realizing that my hands are a sieve, trying to hold these moments as they keep sliding on through.
These slippery things—they get away from me.
Watching that chubby-cheeked, chubby-legged, big-eyed baby boy this morning made that achingly clear.
I never knew he would be so special back then.
I knew I loved him.
I knew I would always love him.
I knew I would give my life for him.
But I never knew the special boy that he would become.
I look into these big blue eyes…I gaze upon this sleeping face…
and my heart feels fragile,
it’s breaking with this knowing that
these moments will never be mine again.
And so I know
is what we are given
to feel this love.
Eternity is written in our hearts,
But for now
We must make every minute count.