On Being Hungry

He comes down the stairs, tying robe—this smallest one. He is still growing into himself and his sweet, sleepy face always makes me smile in the morning.

“Why, hello there,” says I, “good morning, sleepyhead.”

He sits down on stairs right where I spied him and rubs sleepy eyes.

“Is it time to eat?”

He is waking up hungry.

So I stop what I am doing and move to kitchen…captivated by this sleepy sun brightening quiet morning—dawn sprite.

I hum as bacon sizzles.

He wants chocolate chip pancakes, so I move to cupboard.

Dash of vanilla—

When was the last time I woke up hungry?

This thought rips through peaceful regimen and I stand, frozen, in the middle of the kitchen.

Instinctively, I raise a hand to abdomen…feeling for that burning hunger of days past.

What fills me?

My days are well-scripted, my mornings a sanctuary. But in this unfinished state, how can I feel sated?

I turn thoughts inward. Probe around with sixth sense.

I feel no hunger there. Yet, no satisfaction either.

Instead, this deep cavernous hole unfolds.

I ponder these things as I turn the chips in the batter—tiny specs in a fluffy sea of white.

This floundering has its purpose…to awaken me to this monochromatic living I’ve been doing these past weeks.

Life has drained me dry. I’m too tired to hunger.

I know He is calling me.

He desires a rekindling. Fan these ashes into hot flame.

I watch as Jeffrey carefully picks apart pancakes…sopping every forkful with gooey syrup and savoring each bite. His hunger will be satisfied for now, but this tasty goodness will always bring him back for more.

There is a difference between eating and feasting, Beloved. And when one is used to being filled with good food, hunger pangs bring urgency. Not just any old food will do.

Of late, I have been snacking.Settling.

A little here. A little there. Just enough to quell the hunger pangs.

But not enough to truly satisfy.

Just enough to keep the hunger from truly deepening.

I’m not sure where to begin in this quarry. I’m still digging around, searching.

But I know that He will lead me.

He never lets me be.

Thank God.

He never lets me be.

Comments

  1. says

    “There is a difference b/n eating and feasting …”

    Good statement! I like how you lead that into spiritual thoughts. Often I eat; how often do I feast? The Word, worship, fellowship can be experienced at either of these levels. I pray for the feast.

    Thanks for the comment on Family Fountain about the Honor Your Parents video. I thought it was very touching, too. My Dad is 74 and I can see some of the same tenedencies as in this video.

  2. says

    ahhh, I know about snacking, “not enough to truly satisfy”

    words to dwell on

    I enjoyed peeking in on you and your sleepyhead, you paint such sweet pictures with your words

    blessings to you my friend,
    Tina

  3. says

    I am using my lunch time to read this…I am feeding my physical self, but I can not remember when I feasted spiritually.

    I want to have that spiritual feast-and soon (and the kind where you need to ware stretchy pants because the food is so good!:)).

    Tessa

  4. says

    Hello, Friend,

    I’ve missed reading your blog. Life sort of got away with me since starting a women’s ministry at my church.

    I had forgotten how I enjoy your writing style. You are very gifted, and I love your reflections.

    Thanks,

    Kristy

  5. says

    This is so beautiful Laura. I feel just the same – a friend prayed for me today – a call to go deeper. I pray for us – a hunger and seeking until we are filled to over-flowing so that He might pour us out.

  6. says

    “I’m still digging around, searching.” Great line. God assures we will find Him if we seek Him. Grateful God will never let us be. Thanks for the encouraging post.

  7. says

    wow…I am so happy I blog hopped over here tonight….well, actually God has a funny way of directing us with the Internet, doesn’t He?

    I really love the way you pour out in your writing….you truly do have a gift.

    God bless
    Peace~
    *~Michelle~*

  8. says

    My daughter has been asking for “a different kind of food” lately and it echoed in my heart as I read your post tonight.

    You are so honest… “I feel no hunger there…”

    Thanks for sharing, friend.

    love,
    shanda

  9. says

    “Life has drained me dry. I’m too tired to hunger” – this has been my whisper and why I started a new prayer blog caled “Secret Whispers”

  10. says

    Great post!

    I can just picture that little guy in his robe, rubbing his eyes talking to you. So precious.

    I’ll say it again, you’re such a precious momma!

  11. says

    Laura, i vividly imagined the whole scene as i read this today. you painted the scene perfectly with your words. i followed you on the spiritual level too! Beautifully done! Thank you!
    Christy

  12. says

    I love your heart written out… mostly because you are so real, so open, so honest. You don’t play games or pretend to have it all together. I love that about you. It’s one of the things that unites our hearts… that vulnerability.

    I’ve missed my blog visits. Life just seems to demand so much in the summer….

    Hope you are well, my friend!

  13. says

    That was beautiful, Laura. Unfortunately, I’ve been merely snacking for a while now. And you know, that doesn’t satisfy at all. It just makes me hungrier.

  14. says

    How lovely and poetic. I can just picture the scene you described with your sleepy little boy in his robe and the pancakes cooking.

    Our time with God needs to be so deliberate, doesn’t it. Often I snack, just to get by. Not starving, but not fully satisfied. These last few weeks, thanks to God, I have feasted. I have tasted and seen that He is good. I pray I remember to come to the banquet table when life returns to the ordinary of everyday living.

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