Guardian

I sometimes see her–catch glimpses in the mirror as I am readying myself for the day. She is but a shadow, a flow of light moving on the periphery. She catches my eye and my breathing stills; heart skips a beat. But when I turn around to greet her, she is gone.

She leaves behind a filmy presence–assurance, comfort.
I know she is there. I feel her presence just as surely as her breath fanning on back of my neck.
Jeffrey feels her presence too. It fills him with dread.
“Mom, is the blanket lighter in that one spot? Do you see it?”
It’s time for the tucking in and we are snuggled together in the dark. I see the shadow he talks about…the light from the street outside shimmers in, illuminating tiny spot.
I hear the fear in his voice, know that when I leave he will pull the covers over his head and sleep this way…cocooned–mummified by fear.
“Do you know the angel of the Lord is here with you? The Bible says, ‘The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him’”.
I pull him close and breathe courage into his skin.
I am scared, he says. And I think it takes courage to say this too.
A long time ago, someone read to me Matthew 18:10.
“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.”
This scripture comforted me as a lonely child…spoke to me a belief in guardian angels. When I was older, I studied the book of Daniel. My belief was strengthened. For, the angel tells Daniel about Michael–the archangel who is the protector of Israel.
Could it be that each nation has an angel-protector? And, if so, is it possible that each person does too?
The Lord says He knows when a sparrow falls from the sky–that I am worth more than many sparrows. He tells me He knows the number of hairs on my head…that He collects my tears in a bottle.

I do not understand the ways of the Lord. I know that Jesus lives in me, I know He is always with me.  I do not think He needs help to do His work…but maybe He sends us comfort through these creatures.

I tell Jeffrey these things. I whisper the constant presence of Jesus over him in the dark with shadows dancing all around.
“He is always with you,” I say.
“But I don’t feel Him,” he responds, near tears.
You have to see with eyes of faith, I tell him. And I tell the story of Elisha, and the chariots of fire. How he and his servant were surrounded by an army from the King of Aram. Elisha told his servant, “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”
The servant was confused. So Elisha prayed for the Lord to open his eyes. When the servant’s eyes were opened, he saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire.
I feel Jeffrey’s body as I tell this story. I remind him (for we’ve had this discussion before) that there are many things we do not see with our weak eyes. But when we look with eyes of faith, we are reminded of the great power of our God and how much He loves us.
My son is quiet as I finish my tale. He is drifting off to sleep in the arms of his mamma. But it is the Hand of God that will hold him tonight.
When I check on him later I see his face. It is not under the covers as it is on other nights before. His lashes rest on cheeks that I remember as round and full–baby cheeks. As I kneel at his bedside, a shaft of light flows like water across his face.
“Hello,” I whisper. “All angels of Jesus Christ are welcome here.”
Guard him well.

Comments

  1. says

    Loving, tender, and beautiful words.

    This is an excerpt from a poem in Love Poems from Gods by Daniel Ladinsky:

    “. . . What does light talk about? / I asked a plant that once. // It said, “I am not sure, / but it makes me/ grow.”

  2. says

    Ame and Amen. Laura this was beautiful.His angels are all around us. Thank-u so much for sharing this. Hope you have a great day! Blessings, Faye

  3. says

    This post leaves me with chills, the kind that tell me you are speaking truth. What comfort He sends that we block from the edges of our consciousness because of fear…

    “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, oh Lord, make me dwell in safety…”

  4. says

    As always, a piece full of beauty, a mother’s love, and our Father’s Truth.

    I have a story about my son’s guardian angel…perhaps soon I will write a post instead of a mini-book here…

    Blessings.

  5. says

    Isn’t it a blessing that the Bible contains so many comforting, powerful stories and phrases? My son has an anxiety disorder, and Scripture does help him.

    Beautiful post!

    thanks for sharing your potty training thoughts and visiting!

  6. says

    What a beautiful picture you paint with your words Laura. I believe in those heavenly guardians. I pray they will watch over my loved ones – before my feet hit the floor in the morning.
    Years and years ago I read Billy Graham’s book on Angels. It gave me such comfort.
    You are a sweet Mama.

  7. says

    Oh my friend, you truly love your sons well. I love seeing your words shared here. It reveals the tenderness of His heart.

    Hope you are well. Sure miss our visits!

    Life just takes over doesn’t it?

    Hugs sent your way tonight!

  8. says

    I believe so too, Laura. He does send his angels to guard us, doesn’t He? As a child I used to recite Psalm 91 whenever fear overtook me in the dark of the night. What blessed assurance it was to feel those words make their way into my frightened brain. How it calmed and comforted me.

  9. says

    Being a mama is one of the greatest blessings this side of heaven. I miss those needy moments with teaching from the Holy Spirit coming out of my mouth.

    Not that I don’t still have that experience, it is just a little different when they are older…

    Blessings!
    Kathy

  10. says

    This morning, daughter and me are home for church (she’s been sick). Ice and snow have hit our little neck of the woods; daddy and son made the trek to church on foot. They will open the doors for whomever will join them. Daughter and I sat on the couch, bundled up while reading from her Bible. We, too, talked about God’s presence being with us, all around us, even when we are unaware.

    I told her she would grow in her understanding of God’s presence as she aged… the more she continues in her faithfulness to “be” present with Jesus, the more he will reveal himself to her heart.

    Then we sang a few songs and closed our time with prayer.

    Church.

    It happens with two or three…

    How thankful I am for the presence of God in our midst.

    peace~elaine

  11. says

    Laura,
    Once again I am profoundly touched by the beauty of your words. I have to admit that in my journey with Christ prior to last year angels were not something I gave much thought to.

    I have found myself asking God to send them to my sweet Brett. I know they must be there…..

    How else could he be so at peace, so happy in such a place? Jesus and His angels are watching over my boy.

    I like that picture.

    In Him,
    Tina

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