The Bravery of Mothers

I stand alone on the edge of aloneness;

watch you twirl your hair round and
round until the lock slips out—
leaves finger free to trace the curve of my
love.
its outline lingers everywhere
you breathe. And
I hold this tight, cling with my cells…all
the while knowing I mustn’t. you
have me, you know. from first
sound of that tiny drum
heart inside me, from first gaze
into milky–blue
eyes…I was yours. wherever
you go, my heart goes
with you. don’t forget
that, ok? don’t forget how
much you are loved and
do stupid things. promise me,
ok? promise to take good
care of you. no motorcycles, or
skydiving. the earth inside
me groans with each lift of
foot, until it meets solid ground
again. i learn
to walk too. shuffle step to and
fro, careful not to lose what
lies beneath me. but
you soar. I close my
eyes.
and when I open
them, you are
gone.

Comments

  1. says

    I think I have said those very words, “no motorcyles or skydiving” and I have heard two of the four express a desire for one or both of these things. Holding my breath, keeping hands wide open, trusting God.

  2. says

    You’ve expressed this grip on our souls beautifully.
    Hope your Mother’s Day was as sweet as your boys, and your heart.

  3. says

    So poignant Laura. I looked at my grown children today with love and longing and great gratitude.
    Happy Mother’s day Laura.

  4. says

    The pull of that heart string, Laura, never diminishes. You’re very right in saying we “go” with them wherever they go. Today, my heart goes with my nine-year-old little boy; over the weekend he begged me to not return to school… to finish early. It’s been a very hard year for him, and the bullying has been especially difficult to abide. I wish I could rescue him from his tears, but I can’t… not yet. And then there’s my second college son who is taking finals this week, and the college son who is done and returned home and will sleep through most of the morning, and then Miss Princess… how does my heart ache with love for her precious little heart.

    Indeed, motherhood is fraught with bravery and strength. May God give each one of us a generous portion this day.

    peace~elaine

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