Playdates with God: Trinity Sunday

One Sunday, I stand facing the congregation with my friend and fellow missionary as the pastor prays over us and commissions us to go toHaiti.  It’s Trinity Sunday and it’s Father’s Day and the scripture reading is Matthew 28:16-20 where Jesus says to his disciples, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

It’s that last line that always gets me, always has, because I’ve felt the trueness of it since I was a small girl. But our pastor pulls out a line above the quote, from verse 17: “… but some doubted.” Can you believe it? Pastor asked. They had seen all his miracles, walked with him for at least three years and now, the resurrection. Can you believe that some of them doubted? Standing there, facing all those faces that I love, I believed it. Standing there waiting for a blessing, I am a little girl again, putting my trust in something—in Someone—who, thank God, I don’t understand. There are so many questions and so much doubt and I want to grab my friend’s hand as we stand there together. This will be her third trip to Haiti and she has been patient with me, and kind, as I ask all kinds of crazy questions and text her during odd hours of the day.
Instead, I stand quiet and still, an island, and let the prayers penetrate my stony heart; let them sink deep into all the questions, all the fears, all the doubt. We’ll do this again for the second service in another hour and I think how I want to bottle up these prayers and take them with me across the ocean.
In between the services, I call my dad. I find a quiet spot in the back hall and dial the number that I grew up reciting as my own. He’s getting ready to mow the grass and he’s glad to hear from me and we make small talk about family stuff for ten minutes. I don’t tell him about Haiti. Some distances still feel too big, too tender to bridge.
I think about that last line of the scripture, “And surely I am with you always.” I think about that line, and I close my eyes as I hang up the phone. And everything is just fine.

My daddy’s got me.
Every Monday I’ll be sharing one of my Playdates with God. I would love to hear about yours. It can be anything: outside, quiet time. Maybe it’s solitary. Maybe it’s loud and crowded. Just find Him. Be with Him. Grab my button at the bottom of the page and join us:

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  1. says

    Sure will be praying for you Laura!! I have pastor friends who go to Haiti four or five times a year to help, build, and mostly, love. God will go with you!

    We leave next Tuesday for Eastern Europe. I will be there eight weeks as missionary replacements in the country of Estonia. We lived in Latvia for a year recently and were also in Estonia about three months a few years ago so we know the area and some of the people. Anxious to see what God will do! Blessings. ♥

  2. says

    What a privilege to be prayed over — commissioned to spread Jesus all over the dream He placed in your heart. I’ll be praying God will strengthen you for the journey. I’m reading Chasing Frances–a crisis of faith–and it’s surely opened my heart to some of mine. ~Pamela

  3. says

    I find that sometimes talking to certain people makes things more “real”. To hear myself tell them things means that it is established and certain….and I wait until I am ready…your Daddy does have you…in the palm of His hand…praying for grace and peace on your upcoming trip.

  4. Kelly Hausknecht Chripczuk says

    Yes, I can believe that some of them doubted, but what I find more difficult to believe is that it didn’t matter – neither our belief or doubt define the boundaries of God’s great mercy, we ride along in it like an ocean’s current. Blessings on your trip, Laura.

  5. says

    Laura – We read that same passage in our church on Sunday, which is probably no surprise to you or millions of other believers who follow the lectionary, but for me, it’s still surprising and wonderful. This is only the second church family I’ve been part of that follows that scripture reading schedule, and it’s so refreshing to be connected to the larger church family in that way. I especially love it on Sunday’s with a message like this: I am with you always. He’s with ALL of us, always. Hardly fathomable. Actually, not fathomable at all, but totally amazing. I feel so grateful.

    Godspeed to Haiti and back, friend.

  6. bluecottonmemory says

    It is bottled up, Laura – He poured it into your heart and sealed it in there! Wishing you blessing and courage for what has called you to.

  7. says

    So interesting… Those exact words jumped off the page at me yesterday. “And some doubted”. I dont know why I never noticed thse word before. I have read those words countless times as a missionary. It stopped me in my tracks- that there were still some who had seen him crucified, buried, and resurrected and even eat with them and talk with them forty more days and witness his assention … Yet there was still doubt lurking in shadows. I am still trying to wrap my brain around this.

  8. lindalouise says

    Add my prayers dear heart. I’ll be praying. I’m so thankful He takes me doubts and all. He is going to use you in so many ways to bring beautiful blessings.

  9. Laurie Collett says

    Praying for you and for God to do mighty things through you in Haiti as He has on this blog! Thanks for hosting & God bless!


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