Playdates with God: Connecticut Morning

in the library at Dickinson College

Teddy and I have been on the road these past few days, driving over seven hundred miles before landing here in Connecticut. We’ve seen a lot of things, shared a lot, and I hope he will remember this time fondly in the coming years. We’ve been visiting colleges along the way, dreaming together for his future, and it has been exciting and scary and liberating all at once.

We stopped here to see his best friend; a soft place to land after all these miles. And as I watch those two together, I am young again—everything new. In a couple hours we’ll pack up and head home, visit a few more schools, and drive as far as my tired eyes will make it.  

I haven’t been online much as we’ve burned up the roads, instead opting for good conversation with my boy. I never grow tired of getting to know him and this weekend I’ve seen new places in his heart. Sometimes, my love for him is so strong that it seizes me like terror, and I have to remember that perfect love drives out fear.

In February, after I returned from the Jubilee conference—this place where thousands of college kids were worshiping and learning about Jesus together; this place that was on fire with the Holy Spirit—when I returned home with my face still shining from that encounter … this boy of mine tells me he’s not so sure he believes anymore.  I’ve been wrestling with that moment ever since, praying hard for God to reveal truth in the inward places.

Ever since he was small I’ve known this time would come. He’s too much like his daddy, putting faith in the things that can be understood with the mind. But this weekend, I saw how this boy’s heart can come alive and God has whispered new hope into mine.

If you will pray safe travels for us (and that we don’t get turned around in New York again) I would be so glad. And if you see fit to pray about these other things I’ve mentioned here, I give you my deepest gratitude.

I’ll see you on the other side of the Mason Dixon line.

**This week at the High Calling, we’re talking about helping employees fulfill their dreams. Join us? 
Every Monday I’ll be sharing one of my Playdates with God. I would love to hear about yours. It can be anything: outside, quiet time. Maybe it’s solitary. Maybe it’s loud and crowded. Just find Him. Be with Him. Grab my button at the bottom of the page and join us:
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  1. Kelly Hausknecht Chripczuk says

    The way you are willing to share the tender places is such a gift to me, thank you Laura. I don’t have many prayers right now, but my heart is standing quietly beside you with its own little mustard seed of faith. BTW, Dickinson college is right in our neighborhood, the apartment we rented is just a block or so from the library, I used to go there to write. It’s a beautiful space.

  2. says

    You know I am praying and I love you big. So glad you are having this time with Teddy. I’m sure you’ll look back on it with fondness and gratitude. God is right there in your midst, smiling.

  3. June says

    Travel mercies, Laura. And our God, Who cares about the insignificant things, loves Teddy with an unimaginable love. Praying for His mercy there as well. Blessings.

  4. says

    A mother’s journey takes such twists and turns as we watch our kids wrestle with things. Praying for your young man, that his journey will keep leading him back to God. His path will be unique to him, but God will be there watching, helping, loving, all along the way.

  5. JosephPote says

    Those are difficult conversations,for a parent, Laura…but I think healthy conversations.
    The questioning and doubting is, I think, a part of finding one’s own faith…a process through which God becomes personally real to each of us rather than just a tradition learned from parents.
    Blessings to both you and Teddy in this journey…both the physical and the spiritual journey…

  6. Sharon says

    Oh Laura – how I understand. This line especially spoke to my heart: “Sometimes, my love for him is so strong that it seizes me like terror…” Yes, my love for both of my sons is soul-gripping. Sometimes my love for them is so big it hurts. And sometimes, when things are not going well for them, I feel like I’m going to fall apart.

    It is then that I turn to the One who loves me perfectly. The One who promises that His perfect love will cast out fear. The One who loves those sons of mine far more than I ever could. And with difficulty, I do my best to pry open my clenched hands and release them to His care.

    it’s hard – for sometimes their own faith journeys carry them away from God. And prayer is about all we can do. But, oh! Prayer is EVERYTHING we can do – for it is the strongest weapon we hold.

    So, I pray for you and your boy. That God will uphold you and strengthen you as you walk out this next part of the journey.


  7. says

    Dear Laura,

    I know this fear. The fear that the foundation upon which all relationships are based will not be there with your own children. Your prayers avail much. And college can be a good seeking time. After all, we all have to make our faith our own at some point. I am certain he has much of mama in him as well as the best of his father. What an opportunity for a great apologist! Fact checker and faith grasper!

    All that you have prayed and sowed…it will produce.

  8. bluecottonmemory says

    Praying for you and your son. Sometimes I think they pull away more from our beliefs in order to claim and develop their own relationship with God- a man laying claim to his relationship with God.

  9. lindalouise says

    Always praying sweet friend. Let me encourage your heart. I know there is great hope standing on the other side of growing up. Safe travels.

  10. Laurie Collett says

    Sounds like a blessed trip — a precious milestone. Thanks for the touching post & for hosting & God bless.

  11. pastordt says

    Yes, ma’am – if you’ll join me in praying for my two eldest grandsons who are also in that hard place during these years.

  12. says

    This college is in Jared’s birthplace, Carlisle. And you know I have a history with Jubilee. Things I heard there still unfolding over my life 20 years later. And the ache I can only imagine, but it is enough to pray fiercely for what is yet unwritten…hugs:)

  13. says

    Thank you, Abby. That means so much. Carlyle is a lovely city! We enjoyed our time there. The world is a big place, isn’t it? I’m grateful that I am held when I think of it. I keep praying for you and your family, and especially your little boy. Love to you.

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