Playdates with God: Wrestle

I have been letting things go. The kitchen floor, the laundry, the little stacks of clutter on the table … Instead, I’m letting myself fall back in love. Not that I fell out of love, mind you; but some things slip away slowly and I fail to notice until they are gone. Life has been too busy, so I’m slowing it down … noticing; letting the moments woo me back into loving my life.

When we were seaside last month, Jeff implemented the family happy hour. Every evening, before dinner, he and I and the boys would head down to the ocean and sit under our little canopy and enjoy the view and each other’s company. The boys would drink their favorite beverage (root beer for Teddy, grape soda for Jeffrey) and Jeff and I would have our favorite legal beverage (which varied night to night). It was so relaxing that we’ve brought the tradition home with us. Only now, it’s after dinner on our back deck. Sometimes the boys join us, sometimes they don’t, but we’ve tried to keep meeting this way and it’s brought something new into our relationship. After twenty-one years of marriage that’s kind of neat. Somehow I’d forgotten to treasure moments like these.
Yesterday, I preached at the home church. Our lesson was Genesis 32, Jacob’s wrestling match with God, and I’ve been breathing in that story for a solid week. Our church has been wrestling with some big things lately and God whispered a message into my heart that is changing me. The whole of the message sort of hit me during the second service and I felt God challenging me to do more than just show up in a couple areas of my life. 
I’ve been wrestling with it. Because there are some things I need to give up to make that happen. And I don’t really want to do that. Maybe this is the wounding—the mark God will leave on me to remind me that I’ve been entrusted with a blessing.

I don’t know. I’m still wrestling it out. In the mean time, I’m letting things go. Letting myself fall back in love. And waiting on the blessing.

This week at The High Calling we’re talking about Building a Platform. Some good stuff over there. Join us

Every Monday I’ll be sharing one of my Playdates with God. I would love to hear about yours. It can be anything: outside, quiet time. Maybe it’s solitary. Maybe it’s loud and crowded. Just find Him. Be with Him. Grab my button at the bottom of the page and join us:

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  1. OutnumberedMom says

    Oh, Laura…thinking in the same vein today as I remind myself on my blog to “be still.” And you and Jeff are wise to maintain that hour. Don’t give it up!

  2. says

    The wrestling- YES! I carried that story of Jacob around in my pocket for a good six months last year, not willing to lay my whole life down. I was hanging onto a dream that wasn’t meant to be and the dying to that dream was a slow, painful process.
    I have wounds now, but my heart is whole.
    Praying you through the wrestling- May it be sweet.

  3. Dawn Paoletta says

    With you on these thoughts…and the Jacob wrestling. Well how I started blogging was a hip injury that caused me not to walk for awhile…I walked with a limp through 2013…and God kept bringing me to Jacob. I feel God moving over the whole of His Body…He seems to be calling us from all of our busyness. I’m trying to lean in…just got this crazy, thickness at the scruff. Grab your blessing. He is faithful.

  4. JosephPote says

    I love how you’ve combined waiting and wrestling…it seems incongruent…but it’s not…
    May we all pursue God’s blessing with the relentless passion that Jacob did.

  5. says

    Wow, Dawn, I don’t think I knew that part of your story. Isn’t it amazing how He uses everything? I’m having a hard time with the leaning in right now too, my friend. Hugs to you.

  6. smoothstones says

    I can’t think of a thing that will survive (let alone thrive) without time and attention. I like what you have to say, here, about figuring out where time and attention most needs to go. It’s a thing not always easily determined, and even after, it’s not always the way we’re inclined to go. I get it. God has been using you to speak into my life, lately, and I feel His love and kindness in that because your voice is always so gentle. It just sort of breezes over instead of knocking me sideways and ticking me off (lol). Love, love. Thank you for praying for me/us. I feel it.

  7. says

    Love every single thing about this post. The wrestling is oh, so, real. But so, too, are the blessings. Thankful for that reminder in these refreshing words that make me feel like I’ve had a chance to sit on your porch and chat. To thanks for that. So much.

  8. says

    Laura, such a beautiful post in so many ways. Growing up, my dad loved to watch wrestling on TV. Your words brought to mind that in wrestling something always has to go down. It takes a struggle, time & pain. I so want to avoid all three 🙂 I needed to be reminded this morning, in my present wrestling, of past wrestlings. Once the struggle was over, I looked back & thought, “I would go through it again.” The blessing was so much more than the wrestle. There truly is blessing which comes. May we hold on & wait. Trusting Him!

  9. says

    I always find it interesting that it’s in the “letting things go” that we find our “more.” How does that work? The key is the focus, I think. Life’s Martha demands when our heart is pulling towards the sittings of Mary. I love the thought of you meeting your hubby each night on the deck. The little things that makes a good marriage great. ~Pamela

  10. soulstops says

    What a great idea: a family happy hour 🙂 And you make an important point…the wounding in the wrestling but the blessing afterwards….so true…blessings to you 🙂 praying God continues to guide you and give you wisdom on what to let go…

  11. says

    I’m following Jesus into less right now as well. For me right now it feels less of a wrestling and more of a nestling in and letting Him cover me in peace. Or maybe even a shedding of all the stuff I don’t want, so that I can focus on what I do. We live in a city that never stops, and right now I need way less noise and way more of Him. I’m thankful to have stumbled over here today.

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