Playdates with God: First Days

I had forgotten how easy it is to fall in love. How it feels to hold a small, helpless bundle; how the universe seems to fall in place when looking into a baby’s eyes.
My dad called to tell me the baby was in the neo-natal intensive care unit at a hospital near me. His mother not available, family members were taking it in turns to be with him, so his first days would not be so lonely. Could I stop by?
I thought of the boy’s mother—how it seems like only yesterday that I received word of her birth. How sweet she was, and innocent. And now, this little one who shares a smidgen of my blood.
I met my stepmother in the hospital lobby and she led me through those long hallways up to the NICU. And it was love at first sight.  Soon, I was lost in baby-scent and that glow of holding a piece of living, wiggling love in the arms. That I would be invited—even welcome—into such a place is a wonder, so I took my arms and legs and world-soiled self into that sanctuary of love.
Just to hold a baby.
My own babies are taller than I now—but I felt that pull as soon as I walked through the door: the slow of the first days. But there was no beaming mama here, and my heart did the deep fall as I took him in my arms. I felt my heart pace with his; slow in time to this peace that knows these are the important things.
I exclaimed over petite nose, silken hair, long fingers. I had to look at his tiny feet—run my finger along the sole of it.
And something about his sleeping peace opened me up and I remembered. I remembered the stories of my own’s first days, as women do, and love was thick as we breathed it in and out and whispered it into the air around us.
He slept the entire time, and our love made a bed that cradled him soft—spoke a secret lullaby.
I studied each curve of his face, drank in his little dream sounds and I remembered this:

Some scientists calculate that humans create 1.8 million synapses per second from their second month in utero to their second birthday. The brain makes synapses to store information. Each thing we know is embodied in a network of neural connections.  (David Brooks in The Social Animal)

I looked at sleepy eyes and wondered what is going on inside that beautiful brain of yours? He—storing up knowledge while we sit and remember and spread thick love all over him.

We fall in love and I hear a tiny whisper as I tuck that baby back into his bassinette—loathing to leave: I am here. I am here in the first days. I am here…always.

Every Monday I’ll be sharing one of my Playdates with God. I would love to hear about yours. It can be anything: outside, quiet time. Maybe it’s solitary. Maybe it’s loud and crowded. Just find Him. Be with Him. Grab my button at the bottom of the page and join us:


The Playdates button:

Comments

  1. says

    I’ve always loved baby feet! So you captured one of my favorites from days gone by. I even took pictures of my youngest’s feet, so I would not forget how sweet they are! I’m moved by your words this morning, Laura. Congrats to you and your family on this {distant?} new relative! Thanks for hosting also!

  2. says

    Babies have that way. I know God did it on purpose. They capture us and never let go. So glad you were able to bless this baby with your presence and the presence of God. Praying for wellness for all.

  3. says

    I am now experiencing a whole new joy… grand-mothering… It was a beautiful experience to birth my own children… but it was such an honor and blessing to see my daughter and DIL give birth to their babies… it is always amazing the pure joy and love the fills the room and each heart… and isn’t just a beautiful picture of how God sees us as His children!!! and what a sweet gift you are to this family… blessing them and this little one… standing in the gap with love!!

  4. Jody Ohlsen Collins says

    Oh… you manage to paint the most beautiful, precious pictures, Laura. What a gift to hold such a fragile package. Making me tear up here.

  5. bluecottonmemory says

    I think it is the freshness from God that just melts our worldliness. I love this Dicken’s quote: “It is no small thing, when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.”

  6. Simone Dankenbring says

    I could capture that moment and call it a perfect day! There’s just something about experiencing God while holding in your arms, God’s masterpiece – a baby. That’s a pretty awesome playdate!

  7. JosephPote says

    Babies are just so special, aren’t they?
    Something about a baby’s sense of wonder opens my own sense of wonder.
    Thank you for sharing this moment, Laura!

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