Start with Now

yellow crocus

This morning, as I walked Bonnie around the house, I saw a little piece of the sun had fallen down to earth. It’s February, and my crocuses are blooming—bright yellow petals winking in the morning dew. We’ve had an unusually warm and wet patch of weather these past few weeks, but I’ve lived here long enough not to be fooled. The birds, however, appear to be falling for nature’s trickery. Everywhere I turn the sky is full of robin-song and sparrow-music. Yesterday I peeked in my bluebird box and, sure enough, the beginnings of a nest were tucked inside. When Jeff and I walked down Sleepy Hollow road, we saw an American Kestrel falcon perched on the powerlines. As we drew near, that beauty took flight, circling slowly over the meadow that hugged the roadway. She was so free in her flight, she took my breath.

I’ve been savoring my days off, taking the moments slow. Today, I re-read most of Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge’s poemcrazy: freeing your life with words. At the end of chapter 2, under the practice section, the author encourages the reader to buy a journal and keep it with them. “It’s never too late to start,” she says. “Don’t try to catch up by going back in your life. Start with now.”

Something about those last three words made my throat catch a little. “Start with now.” It sounds so simple, I mean, where else can I start except now? But so many days I feel like I’m trying and trying and trying … struggling to make up for all that I’ve missed—all the regret that comes with the late blooming. And then I see an early-blooming crocus and the round headed silhouette of a falcon and I know deep inside of me: now is the only moment we really have.

Instead of regret, today I let that thought comfort me. Today, I let myself be fully present in this moment and as I do, I can feel the wings of my heart stretch wide.

Wide for the soaring flight.

Comments

  1. Lynn D. Morrissey says

    You were so strong on my heart yesterday, dear Laura. And I thought, where is Laura? Where are your words of wonder that wash over me when I read your posts? And look here! Here they are: right now!
    Beautiful. May your nows be here tomorrow and always.
    Lynn

    • says

      Lynn, you are the kindest friend to think of me! I do miss having more time to visit in this space and the other online venues. But I’m always grateful when God gives me a nudge to write here. Love you, friend.

    • says

      Thank you, Diana, I do miss our online community so often. But I’ve been enjoying reading your Lenten series in my inbox! So it feels a little like old times :). Praying you are well. xo

  2. says

    It’s so nice to read your words (and your heart) again, Laura. Those words encourage me too. I find myself either looking back with regret or worrying about the days to come. I am trying to live in the moments I have and trust His love and grace for the past and future. Much love, Laura.

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