Our Yes to God Bible study chapter this week, Learning to Trust Again, reminded me of this post from the archives…
Lately, I have led a charmed life. Just in little things, mind you, like traffic lights and sunny walks and scheduling. It seems all I have to do is think a thing, a little thing, and it comes to me. He is tying the ribbon.
Perhaps these little happenings are mere coincidences. Perhaps I am making too much of small things. Forgive me for taking simple delight in tiny pleasures that have often eluded me.
I have never been the lucky one.
I learned at an early age that people and circumstances were not to be trusted.
As a child I was mislaid, like an extra pair of reading glasses, never thought of until a need to see more clearly arose.
This did not happen by accident, for the Lord ordained this time to draw me to Him, using my emptiness to demonstrate His great comfort. I learned that when this world fails, He is ever present. He delivered me from that time of brokenness and artfully transformed my pain into strength and compassion.
Lately, however, I have been that mislaid little girl once again. My heart has been feeling the pull of the past. My emotions have returned to that time of brokenness. For, there are some big changes taking place in my life right now. Changes that require trust and confidence. Two things that my past assured I would have difficulty mastering.
I am the child I was back then: vulnerable and needy, longing in vain to feel comforting arms around me. My heart is tremulous and easily bruised, my steps tentative. Do I dare to trust?
There comes a time when we must leave our pasts behind us. A time when we must choose to believe the Great Love that is spoken of in the Bible. For me, this time happens over and over again, and I often need reminded that I am a new creation.
And so He has been busy tying the ribbon around my finger. He has gifted me with these little reminders. My child, He tenderly whispers, have I ever let you down before? With each little incidence of fortune, He has breathed over me a memory of a larger past deliverance. In the sweetest of ways He shows me that I can trust Him: by taking care of even the smallest detail. And with each detail He carefully and lovingly attends to, I am reminded of His faithfulness.
When human hands fail, there is One who can be trusted. He dwelleth not in temples made with hands. When my heart is broken, he covers me with His wings. Scripture tells me He knows the number of hairs on my head; He catches my tears in His wineskin. When my trust in man is disappointed, I can trust the author of my life to write the end of the story. And with Him, there is always a happy ending.