What is REAL? asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?
Real isn’t how you are made, said the Skin Horse. It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.
Does it hurt? asked the Rabbit.
Sometimes, said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.
Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, he asked, or bit by bit?
It doesn’t happen all at once, said the Skin Horse. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. (The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams).
(I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it)
Just keep moving towards the things you love, in the tiniest ways you can.
She was concerned.
…I’m thinking about your dream… I wonder…if the dream might be a really important sign of things that are happening inside you…
Then my friend did a dream analysis that would make Dr. Freud proud.
You are quite good at this dream analysis thing, I responded. Do you have a couch?
She told me about her couch at the Louvre and sent me a picture.
I laughed out loud.
I’ve never met my friend face-to-face. We’ve gotten to know one another through the HighCallingBlogs community. We’ve spoken on the telephone a few times. Even skyped.
But I’ve never had breakfast, held her hand, or even gone canoeing with her.
Does that make our friendship not real?
She ended the above-mentioned note with this:
Hey, let me know what I can do to support you as you move through some of these growth and changes things. I’m happy to send you a smile and a hug whenever you need. 🙂
That’s real enough for me.